Life Story Books Guidance

All children with a plan for adoption must have a Life Story Book. Making a Life Story Book is more than creating a photograph album with identifying sentences giving dates, places and names. It is an account of a child's life in words, pictures and documents, and provides an opportunity for the child to explore and understand their early history and life before their adoption.

A Life Story Book should:

• Keep as full a chronological record as possible of a child's life;
• Integrate the past into the future so that their childhood makes sense;
• Provide a basis on which a continuing Life Story can be added to;
• Be something the child can return to when they needs to deal with old feelings and clarify and/or accept the past;
• Increase a child's sense of self and self-worth;
• Provide a structure for talking to children about painful issues.

Life story work is not simply about preparing a book: the book is just one of many tools that can be used to explore the child's history. Foster Carers should be encouraged to collect memorabilia such as significant clothes, toys, birthday/Christmas cards, party invitations, school reports, theatre tickets and programmes etc. These items can be stored in a memory box and go with the child when s/he moves on. The child's Social Worker should spend time having age appropriate discussions with him/her about their past. Play is a child's natural language and is a good way to let them share their feelings when words are too scary. Toys, books, films etc. can be used in this process.

The process should be initiated, driven and coordinated by the child's social worker and carried out in coordination with the other people who know the child, including carer(s), parents and other relatives. Contact Workers can also play an important role contributing to a child's Life Story Book due to the close proximity they have with children. The prospective adopters should be involved in deciding the final form as they will use this tool in the future: they must be comfortable with the language used, the photographs used etc.

Time and care should be given to:

• Planning carefully how to undertake the work;
• Reading the information about the child carefully and thoroughly;
• Collating the information in chronological order;
• Noting reasons for decisions;
• Noting gaps in the records and attempting to fill them;
• Counselling children, parents, friends, relatives and carers etc. as necessary.

Presentation is very important in terms of validating the importance of the life story and motivating the child to want to read it and show it to others.

• Use a loose leaf folder – this will enable the long term carers to hold back some pages until the child is ready to deal with that information, and to add pages as the child's life story unfolds;
• Always work on clean paper;
• Drawings and photos should be mounted;
• Use neat headings;
• If the child is unable/reluctant to write themselves, let them dictate what they want to say;
• Use good quality copies/photocopies of treasured photos, documents etc. and not the original;
• Get a balance of words and pictures;
• A responsible adult should keep hold of the book until it is finished;
• Keep an electronic copy of it.

• Family tree - back three generations if possible;
• Photos of maternity hospital (and, for younger children, a clock showing the time);
• Weight, length, head circumference at birth;
• Birth certificate, if possible;
• Any items from the hospital (e.g. identity tag);
• Dates of first smile, sounds, words, tooth, steps etc;
• Photos of parents;
• Photos and maps of places where the child lived;
• Photos of relatives;
• Photos of friends;
• A truthful life history which is age appropriate. More detailed and potentially distressing information about the reasons why a child was adopted should be included in the Later Life Letter which is given to them when they are older and better able to cope with and understand such information;
• Parents' stories;
• Details of siblings;
• The child's views and memories;
• Photos of workers and their roles;
• Story of the court process;
• Photos of carers;
• Story of family finding;
• Details of ceremonies (e.g. baptism);
• Anecdotes;
• Favourite foods, likes and dislikes.

It may be inappropriate to include some detailed information, such as full names and addresses, in a life story book. Social workers should consider the possible implications of the child disclosing this information in their future use of social media.

Experience has shown that children often find a life story book that focuses entirely on the past too difficult and that this approach does not facilitate healthy attachment and a sense of permanence. An alternative structure for the life story book can help the child feel safe and contained when learning about their past. In this approach the book starts with the present rather than the past, and ends with a hopeful future rather than the present. The difficult information from the past is kept brief and put in the context of the child's whole life. This approach can make difficult information about the past more manageable for the child.

There is further guidance on preparing a life story book at:

1. Life Story Book Guidance for Supervisors;
2. Life Story Works;
3. The Joy of Life Work.

And advice is available from the Adoption Service.

Foster families should be encouraged to record the story of the child's stay with them as fully as possible, including:

• Descriptions of what the child was like when they arrived, what they liked and disliked;
• Details of development (e.g. learning to ride a bike);
• Their own special memories of the child;
• Birthdays, Christmases and other family celebrations/outings/holidays etc. - photos, favourite places etc;
• Details and photos of the foster family (including extended family), home, pets etc., who they got on with and who they didn't;
• If appropriate, times when they had arguments, sulks etc;
• Special rituals the child liked;
• Souvenirs of school - photos, certificates, reports, photos of and stories from teachers;
• Contact visits;
• Illnesses;
• Photos of birth family with foster family;
• Crafts/pictures completed in the foster home/school/playgroup;
• Anecdotes.

Where appropriate, this memorabilia should be stored safely in a suitable box – a "memory box".

Children need truthful and honest explanations that they can understand - that means using language they know.

It is important that:

• Questions are answered as honestly as possible;
• Adults admit when they don't know the answer and offer to try and find out (rather than making something up);
• Children are helped to accept that not everything can be explained or understood;
• Information is given sensitively and honestly - protection and evasion leads to confusion and fear;
• Adults help children to realise which feelings are healthy and acceptable by discussing their own feelings frankly. If feelings are ignored, children get the message that to express them is wrong - bottling them up can lead to negative behaviour like aggression or withdrawal;
• Adults never pretend that abusive/bad relationships didn't exist.

Where there is an adoption plan for a Looked After Child, life story work should be part of the preparation of the child for the adoptive placement.

The life story book and "memory box" should be co-ordinated by one person, preferably the child's social worker, and given to the child and prospective adopter in stages. The first stage is at the second statutory review of the child's placement with the prospective adopter. The completed Life Story Book should be handed to the adoptive parents, together with Later Life Letters, within 10 working days of the adoption ceremony, i.e. the ceremony to celebrate the making of the adoption order.